JASON KOERBER; TENOR SAXOPHONES.creating all the tasty licks. CHRISTOPHER FOX, CHORD PROGRESSION, LYRICS, VOCALS, STEEL STRING ACOUSTIC GUITARS, ELECTRIC GUITARS, ELECTRIC BASS, SYNTHESIZERS, SYNTHESIZED PERCUSSION, PURDY MOUTH, BANJO. "another man was accidentally crushed to death last night in Ozark County." THINGS WERE GOING BAD, I MEAN BAD BAD, I NEVER SEEN SUCH LOW GOWN SKUNKIN', UNTIL MY BIG GIRL! MY PA WOULD ALWAYS SAY, "SON, SOME DAY, YOU'LL BE WORKING, YOU'LL BE WISHING, YOU'LL BE WANTIN' A WOMAN IN A BIG WAY!" "DON'T BE FIGHTING THAT PRIMITIVE URGE, WARM UP TO YOUR BIG ICE BERG, IT MIGHT TAKE ALL DAY!" I MET HER ONE-DAY AT AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT, WOLFING DOWN CHOCOLATE, LOOKING SO SWEET, MY BIG GIRL. I QUICKLY FOUND OUT WE HAD SO MUCH TO SHARE, SHE ATE OFF OF MY PLATE AND I DIDN'T CARE, FOR MY BIG GIRL. SHE PILLARS AS BIG AS THIGHS, PLENTY MORE ROOM TO HIDE, WE'RE TALKING MY BIG GIRL! THERE IS A DILEMMA THAT WE MEN HAVE, DO WE COURT THEM RIGHTLY, OR DO WE HIDE THEM AWAY IN TENTS? I LOVE HER SO MUCH, I'M ALWAYS FIXING BROKEN STAIRS. I HAVE TO SIT ON HER LAP WHEN SHE FILLS UP MY LOVE CHAIR, MY POOPSIE! JUST THE OTHER DAY, I WAS DRIVING OUT WEST, THINKING TO MYSELF I HAD IT BEST, WITH MY BIG GIRL! WHEN MUCH TO MY SURPRISE, IN FRONT OF MY EYES I SAW FLOYD WITH A HEAVY LOAD THREE TIMES HIS SIZE, HE DUCKED INTO A PARLOR, SHE PULLED HIM OUT BY HIS COLLAR, SHE WAS HIS BIG GIRL! EVERYBODY GOT A SISTER, A COUSIN, A FRIEND, THAT'S A BIG GIRL! GIGANTIC, TITANIC, MORE FOR YOUR MONEY, THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE MY HONEY. THOSE BIG GIRLS! THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND THEM, YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST DROWN IN THEM, BIG GIRLS!

Ashley Boudreau, vocals, plays the Robotic woman. Jason Koerber, saxophones, and all the tasty licks. Chris Fox, lyrics, chord chart, vocals, electric guitar, synthesizers, organ, programmed drums, percussion. -insert SD card here! I GOT LONELY AND I HIT THE DATING SCENE WOMEN WERE NOT IN THE LEAST ATTRACTED TO ME WENT ON-LINE, IT ONLY GOT WORSE MY LAST DATE COULD HAVE PAST FOR A HORSE IN THE BACK COMPUTER PROGRAMMER'S MAGAZINE ADVERTISEMENTS I COULD NOT BELIEVE BLOW-UP DOLLS, FOREIGN BRIDES, AND A ROBOTIC WOMAN COVERED IN GENUINE LEATHER HIDE THE DREAMS I HAD THAT NIGHT FILLED ME FRIGHT. HELLFIRE I TALKED TO MY PREACHER HE PROUDLY SHOWED ME HIS COMPUTER GENERATED WIFE THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. A WIFE THAT DID EVERYTHING. I READ MORE, WOMAN OF STEEL HARDLY USED, A FANTASTIC DEAL ACT NOW, 50% OFF OVERNIGHT SHIPPING EXTRA CLEANING CLOTHES SHE ARRIVED THE VERY NEXT DAY I PLUGGED HER IN, AND SHE SLAPPED MY FACE MY DID YOU DO THAT? SHE SAID BACK TO ME YOU MAY HAVE BOUGHT ME, BUT OWN YOU NOW WE NEED A NEW VACUUM CLEANER ONE THAT VIBRATES AND HAS A STEAMER YOU CALL THIS THING A MICROWAVE? I CAN HARDLY DO MY HAIR I MUST HAVE ABOVE ALL ELSE PERFECT HAIR YOU WILL MARRY ME AND, GET ME A DIAMOND RING AND, WE WILL BE WEDDED, IN A CHURCH YOU’ LL UPGRADE MY INTEL CHIPS GET ME MORE AMPERAGE AND, YOU’LL RAISE OUR CHILDREN, AS NERDS OH I FORGOT TOMORROW I MUST REBOOT. EVERY MONTH I MUST REBOOT OOH THE HEADACHES I WILL TRY NOT LASH OUT I WILL TRY NOT TO SCREAM I WILL TRY NOT TO BREAK THINGS DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? I LOVE ME. COME WITH ME INTO MY SCREEN

T.J. MURPHY; THE CAPTAIN, LYRICS, VOCALS, PERCUSSION. CHRISTOPHER FOX, CHORD PROGRESSION, LYRICS, VOCALS, STEEL STRING ACOUSTIC GUITARS, DOUBLE BASS, SYNTHESIZERS, TOKEN PERCUSSION. "Ah let me untie this knot. Whoa, that feels good. There's one for the Gipper." OH THE CAPTAIN TAKES A FIFTH OF JAMAICA'S FINEST RUM. AND HE FINISHES OFF TWO BOTTLE EVERY NIGHT. AND BEFORE HE AWAKES, IN SLIPS THE FIRST MATE WHO SNEAKS OFF WITH HIS TWO CHAMBER POTS. "where you going laddie" AND THE COOK TAKES THOSE POTS AND HE POURS IN A TUB. AND HE ADDS SOME BUGS AND YEAST TO THE BREW. AND HE HEATS IT ON A STOVE. A LIQUID TREASURE TROVE A GALLON OF YELLOW RUM 180 PROOF. "come on lads" DO YOU WANT TO STAY SOBER, OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A DRINK? COME ON GRAB A LASS AND JOIN ME LADS. NEVER MIND IT ONCE WAS PEE. NEVER MIND THAT IT STILL REEKS. IF GETS YOU DRUNK, IT CAN'T BE HALF THAT BAD. WHEN YOU'RE AWAY FROM YOUR HOME. WHEN YOU'RE AWAY FROM YOUR LOVE. THERE IS NOTHING THAT MAKES A SAILOR SADDER. WELL COME ON AND CHEER UP. AND GRAB YOURSELF A CUP. AND WE'LL SING A TOAST TO THE CAPTAIN'S BLADDER. OH IT'S CHERISHED DOWN IN CORK AND IT'S CHERISHED UP IN CLARE. THE SAILORS USE IT TO CALM THE SEVEN SEAS. AND IT'S BREWED ACROSS THE OCEAN. IN NEW YORK AND IN BOSTON. THE DRINK THEY CALL YANKEE INGENUITY. "Oh for foochs sake, tie the scurvy dog to the yardarm. I'm pissing again. Filling up me chamber pot with the pee of pleasure. Oh Jesus, I broke a blood vessel on that one. Shoot the kidney stone."

CHRISTOPHER FOX, CHORD PROGRESSION, LYRICS, VOCALS, STEEL STRING ACOUSTIC GUITAR, ELECTRIC GUITARS, ELECTRIC BASS, SYNTHESIZERS, PROGRAMMED DRUMS AND PERCUSSION. MY BABY WANTS ME TO SHAKE MY ASS. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER DANCE CLASS. DON'T WANT NO PART OF THIS GYRATING RABBLE. KEEP ME AWAY FROM THIS CULT, ZUMBA. IT'S NOTHING BUT A CULT DON'T YOU SEE. WOMEN WRITHING IN ECSTASY. DON'T WANT TO BE A PART THAT SCENE LET ME STAY HOME AND DO MY THING. BABY BABY WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO DANCE? OUT ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE BAND? SHAKE YOUR HIPS AND PUT ME IN A TRANCE. WATCH OUT, NOW SHE'S USING HER HANDS. TIPPY-TOE I'M GOING TO DO WHAT THE LEADER SAYS I'M GOING TO DO WHAT THE TEACHER SAYS I'M GOING TO DO WHAT THE GURU SAYS. THIS IS A CULT CALLED ZUMBA EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR HAIR. PICK FOR KNITS AND DO IT WITH FLAIR SPIN AROUND AND PROBE YOUR SCALP EVERYBODY COUNT OUT! ONE NIT TWO NIT THREE NIT FOUR EVERYBODY TOUCH THE FLOOR FIVE NIT SIX NIT SEVEN AND EIGHT MAYBE I SHOULD GET MY SCALP TREATED. NIT PICKING DANCING WOMAN, THIS WHAT YOU GET. BREAK IT DOWN DOWN DOWN TOWN SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE GOING SELL YOU STOCK YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE. ZUMBA, ZOMBIE, GUMBA, GUMBIE FIGURE IT OUT. GUMBIE IS A ZOMBIE THAT ATE MY WOMAN'S BRAINS IN ZUMBA.

Christopher Fox; chord progression, lyrics, vocals, acoustic steel string guitar, electric guitar, electric bass, programmed drums, synthesizers. I WOULD CLIMB THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN FRAUGHT WITH FALLING ICE I WOULD CROSS THE HOTTEST DESERT ENDURING CAMEL LICE EVEN THOUGH WOULD BE DYING OF THIRST I WOULD NOT SEEK AID. AS LONG AS YOU WERE IMPRESSED BY MY DEEDS AND ALLOWED ME TO GET LAID. I WOULD KEEP MY EYES OPENED PRETEND NOT TO BE BORED AS YOU RAMBLE ON ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND THE CHIC CLOTHING THEY WORE. I WOULD PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED IN ALL THAT YOU DO AS LONG AS THERE WAS A CHANCE YOU THOUGHT THAT I LOVED YOU AND ALLOWED ME IN YOUR PANTS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE. I'M THINKING ABOUT FOOD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT US HAVING BABIES. I KEEP STARING AT YOUR BOOBS WE WALK OUTSIDE IN PUBLIC TOGETHER, HAND IN HAND. YOU THINK WITH YOUR HEAD AND HEART AND I WITH MY GLANDS. I WOULD BE NICE TO YOUR MOTHER CHUM UP WITH YOUR DAD HELP HER WASH THE DISHES HELP HIM CUT THE GRASS I WOULD BE NICE TO YOUR WHOLE FAMILY SO THEY WOULD CONVINCE YOU THAT I WAS THIS GREAT GUY NOT AFTER AN EASY SCREW. FIND YOURSELF, A SORORITY GIRL SHE'LL NEVER SAY NO GIVE YOU A BIG THRILL BREAK OUT THE BEER PONG SING HER A LOVE SONG NOTHING CAN GO WRONG WHEN SHE TRIES TO PIN YOU.

Molly Malone: Patsy Christopher Fox: Johny "Wad", chords, guitars, bass, percussion. And coming up next here on K-Lust, your Christian rock station, Is a recently discovered treasure, featuring Patsy Cline, singing a duet with Johnny Wad Holmes. Honey, your love makes me sore everywhere. SWEETHEART, YOU ARE A UNIQUE MAN SWEETHEART, BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE I CAN HARDLY STAND HONEY, YOUR LOVE GIVES ME GREAT PAIN IF YOUR LOVE WAS ANY BIGGER IT WOULD GO UP TO MY BRAIN. SWEETHEART, GOD GAVE YOU A SPECIAL GLAND. BABY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR DRUGS? YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME, HEY LET'S GO OUT AND SCORE SOME COKE. YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU WON'T GET HIGH IF YOU DON'T FIND ME SYRINGE I'M GONNA SAY BYE BYE. YOU GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING IN THIS HOUSE I CAN TAKE BABY WHAT'S IN THAT CABINET RIGHT THERE? ESTROGEN, I'LL DO THOSE. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, YOU WILL SEE LOVE THE SIZE OF THE TRUNK OF A TREE LOVE THAT CAN'T BE BOUGHT, AT LEAST CHEAPLY WITH YOU, I FELL IN LOVE THE FIRST NIGHT. YOU MAKE ALL THE OTHER LOVE SEEM SO SLIGHT. I CAN FEEL YOUR LOVE IN MY TOES AND HAIR SWEETIE YOUR LOVE MAKES ME ACHE EVERYWHERE SWEETHEART YOU ARE A SPECIAL MAN BABY, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR HASH? COME ON, COME ON, TELL ME OR I'LL RIP THIS PLACE IN HALF DON'T TOUCH ME, UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME CRACK I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THAT CRACK BABY, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR HIDDEN STASH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T ANY? WELL I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH YOU IF I DIDN'T KNOW, HAD SOME STUFF TO SMOKE NOW WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? Um, Hey, that's an interesting one. Well, I can see why that song was never released.

T.J. MURPHY; RUSH, LYRICS, VOCALS, DRUMS. CHRISTOPHER FOX; CHORD PROGRESSION, LYRICS, VOCALS, STEEL STRING ACOUSTIC GUITARS, ELECTRIC BASS. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah Take a hit on this babe. THE PRESIDENT HAS TROUBLE WITH SPEAKING ENGLISH THE PRESIDENT HAS TROUBLE WITH CRITICAL THINKING WHEN HE SPEAKS, HE SOUNDS LIKE A DOPE DOPE DOPE WHEN HE STARES AT THE SECRETARY OF STATE DOES HE WANT TO MASTURBATE? IF HE DOES, WOULD HIS WIFE HIT HIS HEAD WITH A POT POT POT WHEN DIGNITARIES FLY INTO TOWN? WHEN THEY COME TO THE WHITEHOUSE? DO THEY GET DOWN ON THEIR HANDS AND KNEES AVERT THEIR EYES AND SAY HIGH HIGH HIGH ONCE AN ALCOHOLIC, ALWAYS AN ALKY CRAVING ADDICTING PERSONALITY DO YOU GET THE SHAKES WHEN YOU SEE AN ADD FOR BUD BUD BUD BRiSTOL-MYERS, ELI LILLY, THERE'S NO NEED TO GET ALL SILLY GLAXO SMITH KLINE AND PFIZER OUR NARCOTICS, THEY WILL MAKE YOU WISER. YOU NEED TO GET DOPED UP, LET'S NOT KID YOU CAN DO WHAT RUSH LARDASS DID OXYCONTIN, PROZAC, VIAGRA TELL ME HOW DOES THAT GRAB YA? WORKING ALL MOST THE DAY PULLING SCRUBS, LIFTING WEIGHTS WHEN YOU GET HOME AFTER A LONG LONG DAY YOU HAVE SORE JOINTS JOINTS JOINTS TRYING TO SLEEP, BUT THERE IS NO REST FOR YOU NOT SURE WHAT YOUR WIFE WANTS YOU TO DO PUT YOUR SHIRT ON, GO OUT AND CUT THE GRASS GRASS GRASS IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU TENDED YOUR LAWN YOU'RE SO TIRED YOU CAN'T HELP BUT YAWN YOU LOOK EVERYWHERE AND ALL YOU SEE IS WEEDS WEED WEED IN THE BIBLE, THERE WAS MARY MAGDALENE SHE WAS THE RESIDENT SEX FIEND LUCKY FOR HER, JESUS SAVED HER FROM BEING STONED STONED STONED THE FAMILY SITS DOWN FOR AN EVENING OF T.V. ED SULLIVAN IS GONE AND SO IS OPIE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR YOU ARE TOLD TO PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING TESTICLE MOLD MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO THAT FOR YOUR WIFE? BUT WHAT'S THIS STUFF ABOUT LOSING MY LIFE? THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE, STROKE, RECTAL BLEEDING, EYES HEMORRHAGING, LOSS OF THINKING FRIDAY IS YOUR BANK DAY, THE DAY YOU GET RID OF ALL YOUR CHANGE YOU WALK UP TO THE TELLER AND YOU GIVE HER YOUR DIMES IN A BAG BAG BAG YOU HAVE A BIG PARTY PARTY PARTY EVERYBODY IS SO AMAZED THAT ALL THE NEW POTATO CHIPS YOU SERVE ARE BAKED BAKED BAKED YOU DANCE SO HARD AND SPUN AROUND MOST THE NIGHT NOW YOU ARE TOO TIRED TO CLEAN UP THE PILE NEXT DAY YOU FIND IN THE DIP ROACH ROACH ROACH YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, YOU GOTTA OUT OF HERE YOU TAKE THE TOLL ROAD YOU ALMOST HIT A CAR IN FRONT OF YOU, SEARCHING FOR A TOKEN TOKEN TOKEN HOFFMAN, LAROCHE BAYER AND MERCK COCAINE WAS USED AS A PERK. SANOFI-AVENTIS, NOVARTIS COME ON, FESS UP, WHO VARTED? THERE'S A MILLION POOR PEOPLE IN OUR PRISONS FOR USING DRUGS LIKE OUR PRESIDENT WHERE'S THE REASON? RUSH DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SHOW UP TO COURT 10,000 OXY'S IT'S THE LIBERALS FAULT! YOU HAVE TO WATCH YOUR LITTLE NIECE SHE IS QUITE A SPOILED LITTLE PIECE SHE BOUNCES ON A BALL GOING BONG BONG BONG YOU GO TO SEE YOUR GRANDMA SHE HAS A DAMAGED PAW SHE HAS OSTEOPOROSIS IN HER BONE BONE BONE YOU HAVE TWO FEET OF WATER IN YOUR BASEMENT RUINING ALL YOUR ELVIS PRINTS YOU SEARCH AND FIND A LEAKY PIPE PIPE PIPE YOUR HAIR IS LONG AND GETS IN YOUR EYES YOU CALL THE OLD BARBER GUY YOU SIT DOWN AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND GET A BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ IT'S HUGE MONEY INCARCERATION YOU CAN CONTROL THE VOTES OF YOUR NATION KENNEDY MADE A TON SELLING ALCOHOL A DRUG ILLEGAL DURING PROHIBITION COCAINE DEATH SQUADS CONTROL MOST OF LATIN AMERICA THE COURTS, THE CHURCH, THE RULERS, THE POLICIA MISERABLE SQUALID LIVES, THEY EXACT A TOLL WHO CARES, HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL? IT'S ON FOX, MY CHANNEL IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH REALITY WATCH FOX I'M NOT LYING, THIS IS THE TRUTH OK, HERE IT IS I HAVE NOT NEEDED A SINGLE TAB OF VIAGRA SINCE IMMERSING MYSELF DAILY IN FOXNEWS I'M NOT IMPOTENT ANYMORE SINCE I'M WATCHING FOXNEWS OF COURSE, THE DEMOCRATS AND THOSE WHO WANT AMERICA TO FAIL ARE SKEPTICAL, BUT I HAVE PROOF HERE, WATCH ME. SEE, NOT IMPOTENT SEE THAT, WELL GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES IT WAS A LONG DAY, I'M KIND OF TIRED SEE, HOLD ON, SEE WAIT, WAIT NOW DON'T RUSH ME

We're going all the way back to 1955 on this one. With Jim Lee Lewis and the Mudhens. He was related by cousin, somehow, to Jerry Lee. And he himself had an unfortunate situation with the Mudhens. Ending in paternity suits, imprisonment, insanity, and a short stint as an electorate, then murdered. Enjoy this is a classic from 1955, Jim Lee Lewis and the Mudhens. BABY PUT ON THAT LIPSTICK AND COME ON OVER HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU A REAL TRUCK DRIVING MAN THAT'S NEVER QUEER. I'LL SPIN YOU AROUND THE DANCE FLOOR I'LL FLIP YOU A FEW TIMES. I'LL PAT YOU WHERE YOU LIKE IT. AND TOSS YOU A FEW DIMES. OH JIMMY, OH JIMMY, YOU'RE SO FRESH OH JIMMY, OH JIMMY, YOU'RE THE BEST I'LL BUY YOU A SODA I'LL SNEAK YOU A BEER I'LL DRIVE YOU AROUND MY CONVERTIBLE SO OTHER MEN CAN LEER I'LL KEEP YOU UP ALL NIGHT I'LL ALWAYS TO BE TRUE I'LL PROMISE TO GET YOU BACK ON TIME TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL OH JIMMY OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE SO FRESH OH JIMMY OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE THE BEST OH I KNOW IT, I'LL SHOW IT, OH BABY DON'T YOU EVER BLOW IT. YOU LIKE THAT? THAT'S NOT COLOGNE HONEY, THAT'S ME BABY I DRIVE YOU WHAT? I DRIVE YOU CRAZY? WELL TAKE THE WHEEL HONEY. WELL HONEY, WE CAN GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW. WHO DO YOU LOVE MORE, ME OR YOUR DADDY? WELL I GOT A SHOTGUN TOO SUGAR YOU'RE WHAT? YOU'RE PACKING A BUN IN THE OVEN? SEE YOU LATER BABY. And that's a smoking guitar solo right there. And many historians still feel that was the precursor to modern heavy-metal.

JASON KOERBER-FLUTE. CHRISTOPHER FOX, CHORD PROGRESSION, LYRICS, VOCALS, ACOUSTIC GUITARS, ELECTRIC BASS, PROGRAMMED DRUMS, PERCUSSION. WHEN A WOMAN HAS A ARSE THE SIZE OF A WAGON THERE IS NOTHING BUT LOVE ON A SAILOR'S MIND. WHEN A WOMAN ARSE FLOATS BY LIKE A CLOUD IN THE SKY THE MEANEST ROGUE ON THE DOCK BECOMES SO KIND. OH HE TAKES A LITTLE SPITTLE AND MAKES HIS HAIR ON NEAT HE CHECKS THE BACK OF PANTS TO MAKE SURE HE LEFT BEHIND NO SHEET HE SMILES AT HERE BROADLY, SHOWING HER HIS TWO GOOD TEETH. HE DANCE AND SINGS AND DO-SI-DOS. KICKING UP HIS FEET HE BORROWS FROM THE CAPTAIN AND HE BORROWS FROM THE FIRST MATE. HE DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO IMPRESS HIS NEW DATE. HE SHOWS HER A TATTOO THAT SAYS "I LOVE ME MOM" HE'S SO DRUNK HE DOESN'T REALIZE HIS DATE HAS A BEARD AND HIS NAME'S TOM. THOSE ARE NICE PEACHES THOSE ARE NICE MELONS THAT IS THE WAY TO CATCH THE ATTENTION OF A FELLA PATTY CAKE, RUM CAKE, ISN'T IT A FINE DAY SHE NEEDS A SHOPPING CART TO CARRY AROUND HER GOODS. NO POTATO, NO TOMATO NOTHING CAN SHOW UNDER HER SHADOW PATTY CAKE, PATTY CAKE, I LOVE YOU PATTY CAKE, DON'T YOU LOVE ME TOO? LET'S GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES TOMORROW.